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Revel_ Infinitus
Guide to Muggle Transit - Vol. 1 
16th-May-2010 11:13 pm
DEATH EATER

Greetings fellow Death Eaters! We might've thought this day would come, but it looks as though many of us will have to resort to Muggle transportation for Infinitus. As you've probably read in the Prophet, due to the Icelandic volcanic eruptions, the International Floo Network has gone haywire. While we all chuckled heartily when it was reported that one Ronald Weasley was spit out of a malfunctioning Floo onto the moon of Endor, we do not wish such a fate on any of our fellow Death Eaters. With so many witches and wizards converging on Orlando for Infinitus, strict travel restrictions and monitoring regulations are also in place. Port Keys are being closely watched by multiple international wizarding agencies, making an incognito arrival impossible. Anti-apparition wards are set all around the convention site, so apparating directly to Infinitus is also impossible. Therefore, we have decided to provide for you some advice and information on getting to Orlando via Muggle transit.

In this volume, we'll cover air travel.

WARNING:

Please be advised that wearing your Death Eater mask during any part of air travel – in the airport, on the aeroplane, or otherwise – is highly inadvisable (unless you want to risk ending up shackled in a white room, under bright lights, being interrogated by local Muggle authorities).

 

 

An “aeroplane”, also known as an “airplane”, is a large metal tube with metal wings and a metal tail that Muggles pack into like sardines to be flung through the clouds for hours upon hours:

Aeroplanes depart from “airports”. The definition of an airport, according to dictionary.com, is:

 

Right. So basically it's this generally bustling place where Muggles and cargo are packed into and filed out of these giant metal tubes with metals wings. Oh, and we mustn't forget that perky metal tail. Giant metal tube. Metal wings. Perky metal tail. Lots of Muggles. Got it? Good.

Death Eater Air Travel Tip #1: Make sure your mask is well packed and padded. You might think it's safe stuffed between all those cloaks, but you'll want to make sure there's some support behind it so it doesn't get crushed. We here at revel_infinitus have seen quite a few crushed masks...it's a sad sight indeed. I've travelled with my mask numerous times and it has not yet been crushed. I can't guarantee this will work, but it's worked for me so far. I wad up a t-shirt to put behind the face of the mask (support) and then wrap it tightly in bubble wrap, or if short on space, other clothing items.

 

Death Eater Air Travel Tip #2: Don't wear your boots unless they have a zipper and are easy to take on and off. When going through airport security check points, you often have to remove your shoes to go through their zapper box thingie. If you're late for a flight, there's nothing worse than being held up at security trying to rip your boots off.

 

Death Eater Air Travel Tip #3: Billowing cloaks can take up a lot of luggage space. Be creative in your packing. Almost giving up on getting my cloak to fit into my checked bag, I decided to try something different. I folded it length-wise and rolled it up like a Muggle sleeping bag. I was able to squeeze it in between the boots.


Death Eater Air Travel Tip #4: Try to pack some costume and other essentials in your carry-on bag.  It is rumored that these Muggle imbeciles sometimes lose luggage.  You do not want to answer the Dark Lord's call with no mask and dirty underpants.  That would be embarrassing.  For the thorough travelling Death Eater, placing a tracking charm on your luggage is essential.

Some Muggle tips for air travel:

http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/assistant/index.shtm

http://travel.yahoo.com/p-interests-22558463

If you are travelling internationally, here are some websites that you might find useful:

http://toolkit.bootsnall.com/how-to-travel-guide/international-travel-tips-for-globetrotters-part-ii-whatto-pack-airport-tips.html

http://travel.state.gov/travel/tips/tips_1232.html



 

Any air travel tips to share?  This is the place to post them!
Comments 
17th-May-2010 04:33 am (UTC)
My advice here is make sure you have your cloak and mask in your carry on. Spread cloak on flat surface and fold the bottom in thirds. Put yyour mask at the bottom and roll the mask into the cloak. This way the mask is very well cushioned. If the idiot muggles lose your luggage, at least you will have your uniform if called by The Dark Lord. Because your mask is with you, the apes in luggage handling cannot destroy it. For added security put your mask in a plastic grocery bag, and then put the cloak into a dry cleaner's bag. That way, if any potions get on your luggage or explode, your uniform will remain clean and dry.
17th-May-2010 11:47 pm (UTC)
Definitely great travel tips! Lost luggage or crushed masks can put a damper on any Death Eater's revelling...
17th-May-2010 04:38 am (UTC)
Tip #5
Go first class or God only knows who you'll end up sitting next to. It could be a ginger!

Tip#6 Bring your own food on board! Muggle food is poisonous, especially on planes.

Tip 7# Do not point your wand while on the plane. Muggles are a very jittery bunch and you might find yourself be beat over the head by an old lady with a purse or some humongous dude named bubba!

tip# 8 Do not sit next to the engine, they blow up! Qui and I can verify that!
17th-May-2010 06:08 am (UTC)
Love Tip #5. I don't think I could contain myself from throwing a hex if that were the case.

But answer me this, what about us poor suckers who the Ministry have put a hold on all of our earnings and can't afford option #5?

17th-May-2010 06:18 am (UTC)
You travel with a fellow death eater and sit next to them ;) Unless you're friendless and traveling from Australia, the you're just screwed :)
17th-May-2010 06:42 am (UTC)
I am not friendless, you bitch, it is just that I trust no one. That goes double for your ass!
17th-May-2010 06:58 am (UTC)
*snickers*
17th-May-2010 11:51 pm (UTC)
Hope you're okay! Been worried. :(

The engine do explode!!!!!!!!!!! Never again am I sitting next to an airplane engine! I've been avoiding American Airlines like the plague since that scary-ass flight. I don't think I'll ever feel safe flying in one of those M80 planes ever again. Damn that sucked.

Moving on...awesome tips! It's always fun to make the Muggles jealous with lovely non-airplane food. Not to mention most airlines here in the states will charge you $5+ for something as simple as crackers or a cookie. Highway robbery!

Hmmm...maybe Death Eaters secretly run the airlines...
17th-May-2010 04:51 am (UTC)
Has anyone any information about travelling with a wand?

If you have a pocket watch, take it out separately and show it to them or they will dismantle everything else you own. The same is true of stacks of poker chips if they are not made of plastic. Stupid muggles.

If you stick the 3 letter code of the airport to which you are going in giant letters (say 8 inches high) on your checked baggage, do you think they may be less likely to lose it?
17th-May-2010 10:15 am (UTC)
I didn't have any trouble bringing my wand from the US to and from the UK (though I thought that the muggles might mistake it for some sort of stabbing implement attempt to confiscate it). I had it in my carry-on but I suppose it might fine to chuck it into your checked bag. Just make sure it's well cushioned if you take the latter route.

Put it near a part of the luggage that's fairly reinforced -- bottom, sides (on particularly tough luggage especially), //maybe// even the back in the case of the rolling cases.

That's my two knuts.
18th-May-2010 12:01 am (UTC)
I've never had a problem having my wand in my carry-on, though I have worried a little that I might stopped at the checkpoint (never have though). I could definitely see a thorough TSA official questioning it. I suppose if it wasn't sharp and you explained what it was, they'd let you carry it on. I've never seen "MAGIC WAND" listed as an item you're not allowed to carry on. LOL! Or just tell them it's for your hair (if you have long hair)...a chopstick to hold your bun in place. Or something.

Putting the airport code might not be a bad idea. I'd never thought of doing that!
17th-May-2010 06:13 am (UTC)
#9 try to get yourself an aisle seat, that way if you are stuck next to a particularly disgusting Muggle (not that they all aren't, but there are degrees of disgustingness believe me) you can get up as often as you like. This is more of less for those of us travelling from abroad.

#10 Although it is highly tempting, avoid using spells, charms and hexes once aboard the plane. This is Muggle technology we are talking about here, and I don't trust them one little bit.

18th-May-2010 12:03 am (UTC)
I go insane if I don't have an aisle seat.

I'll bet dixiebell used a spell on that flight we were on when the engine exploded! Also probably why you two were so delayed leaving San Francisco!
18th-May-2010 12:13 am (UTC)
Hee, hee.

I'll never tell... ;0
17th-May-2010 06:24 am (UTC)
#11 You can get away with dressing in your robes (but not the mask)if you wear a priest collar, but just be prepared to take confessions if you do. You can tell them all that they are going to go to hell and that will make up for the inconvenience :)

#12 What ever you do, don't use a muggle bathroom while on the plane! Just hold it in! It makes a really scary whooshing sound and you might be tempted to hex it but that's really a very bad idea.
17th-May-2010 06:41 am (UTC)
#12 I don't understand... Are you telling me to hold it for 15 hrs? You must be the blond DE no one likes if you are staying that. Wait until I see you and Crucio your ass.
17th-May-2010 06:59 am (UTC)
Just spell away the kidney damage later ;)
17th-May-2010 10:55 am (UTC)
I am trusting that the Dark Lord has delivered my mask to Death Eater Dixie and it will arrive safe and sound.
17th-May-2010 11:47 am (UTC)
Yes it will :) As long as I arrive alright that is.

Hugs,
Dix
18th-May-2010 08:15 pm (UTC)
You do not want to answer the Dark Lord's call with no mask and dirty underpants. That would be embarrassing.

lol. Yes. Embarrassment is definitely the number one problem with this scenario.
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